Appendix 1

The information on this page was written by Samadhi one month before she died, as a guide to her carers.

 

My Beloved Tender Loving Carers

What a blessing to be carried to the portal of death with all the love you are showering on me.
I was born in lovelessness, I go in lovefulness.

I can say, in the maze of this lifetime, I found my way to God, or is it our way to God, since I am taking you along with me !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I want to share with you my daily needs of the moment in this present situation:-
•
 Sat is my overall coordinator … also for bills, paper work, ordering equipment.
•
 Kumari is my nurse who can answer all your medical questions and order medical supplies.
•
 Kusum is my daily body-needs coordinator.
At the moment I need one carer early morning - 8am for about 1 hour - tea, clothing, setting me up for the day. So far Kusum has been doing it - she may call you to back her up if necessary, and if you are available.
•
 Susan has been, spontaneously, since the beginning doing my laundry and keeping my room clean and tidy, and helping with a baby wash, since I can't go to the tub easily.
•
 Saroja seems to be the perfect Master of Ceremony for our occasional get togethers and for having fun.
•
 Dinesh speaks French - if you need to send a phone call or letter to France, let him handle it.
•
 Raman is experienced in palliative care, and will be of great help.
   
My daily routine when I am up to it is:-
•
 Until 9am. Getting ready for computer, or going out.
•
 From 9am till about 2 or 3pm when I am tired, on the computer. I like to have this time for myself.
•
 Lunch. At the moment, I seem to need one meal per day, which I like to take at the end of my morning solitary activities. The meals have been coming spontaneously from you, otherwise Kusum or Sat arranges them.
•
 When I want to take a real nap, I take the phone off the hook. If by any chance I am not answering the phone when I am suppose to be in, don't think I may have fallen off the commode - ha, ha, ha - I may just have been send into bliss land by one of Arupa's magic sessions.
•
 Visitors (this doesn't include you, as you are welcome to pop in anytime your heart pulls you):-
I would like to receive visits in the afternoons only from 2 to 5 pm, please. I prefer that visitors come one at a time, and do not stay too long as I tire easily - say a maximum of about half an hour. I also prefer if visitors call first, and would like them to be aware not to come with a sniffle or anything catchable since my immune system is on a tight-rope walker.
•
 This present episode of my life feels like a ready-made retreat. I enjoy tremendously my aloneness specially when it is made so comfy by all your care.
•
 I go to sleep about 8pm and wake up about 6.30 am. It is fun for me to organize my small world and make it as self-sufficient as possible .
 
Now. This is for the evolution of the situation, when I will not be so well:-
•
 The more the body will fade away, lose energy, the more I will want to stay in, meditate, snooze. I like this to be respected, as the inner journey is the essential, and I will certainly have some surrender processes to accomplish all along. Please, never '"wake me up" for any bodily reasons - medicine, food - unless I have made a big mess in the bed!!!!. Just have water and herb tea in thermos ready for when I wake up. Incense is always nice.
•
 I feel I will naturally stop eating solid food, stay with veggie-blended soups; veggie juices - carrot, beet, lemon; and finally just herb tea and water. When you see me stopping the solid food, make sure to put me on prune juice - enough to have a final good intestine cleansing - I don't want to be a stinking corpse!!!
•
 If I should become nauseous, please help me to sit up so that I don't choke when throwing up.
•
 Anyone of you is welcome to sit in the room for as long as you can be in the silence with me. Please if you need to talk, go outside.
•
 As for visitors, you will have to use your own intuition. They will have to remember to be with me to share silence and meditation. This is not a group room to expunge emotions or fear of death. This would not help me.
•
 The time of departure is a very precious moment to "live" in total silence for as long as the body is permitted to stay here.
•
 If it is God's will that the mind goes before the body, then let me go "free-fall" under the guidance of Kumari - no food, no drink - just keep my mouth moist. If I appear restless, then Arupa's soothing touch will help - and if you like to touch me, talk also softly to me at the same time.
 
A Reminder for Kumari & Sat - Please send me to hospital only
•
 If I break a bone.
But please ship me back ASAP.
•
 In an emergency situation if there is more than 50% chance of recovery - if not, just let it be, as many people die of pneumonia, for example, or a final breakdown of one organ.
These decisions will be taken between Kumari and Sat - I trust their intuition.
Please don't let me die in hospital.

Arupa and Kumari will be the final carers of the body.

Kusum was asking me "Samadhi, how can we help you when you have left the body?"
All I could think of is to wish me farewell by reminding me to give up all my attachments, to stay with the light, not to be identified by the mind phenomena which may appear; and above all to remember my Masters. I do hope they will be on the other side waiting for me, as I already feel them by my side now… I prepare for it like the last greatest adventure.
You want a thriller, here it is!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sat has asked me to share with you my wishes regarding the celebrations:
•
 Kumari will be the Pujarin. By the way, Kumari told me she wants to paint "Om" all over the coffin. Great I said, and don't forget to add one "Namah Shivaya".
•
 When the ashes come back from the crematorium, they will go in an urn which I am getting from Mother India.
•
 When the time is right, beloveds, you go to the beach, before sunset is beautiful, singing and dancing all the way down, why not, and each one of you will take a handful of ashes mixed with flowers, walk into the sea for the final farewell and throw the ashes to the infinite, of love and freedom.

…….And then…….and then……and then…….
A BIG INDIAN FEAST WILL BE WAITING FOR YOU;
THIS IS MY FINAL WILL:-
A BIG FEAST
AT THE MAIN HOUSE
EVERYONE IS INVITED
AND PUT A LITTLE PLATE FOR ME, I'LL BE RIGHT WITH YOU …………………………………………………………….…………….

Om Shanti Shanti Shanti

Samadhi

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