PrefaceSamadhi (Hélène Monique Brobecker), was born in occupied France during World War II. This journal tells the inspiring story of her difficult childhood and youth, her gypsy-like adventures around the world, her friendships and relationships, and her struggle with, and acceptance of the breast cancer which finally caused her death. Above all, it is the story of her spiritual search in India and beyond, her realisation that Truth is finally attained by calling off the search, and of the integration into her own life of love and consciousness. Samadhi wrote her journal both as a voyage of rediscovery and transcendence of her past, and also as a joyful manifestation of the here and now as she approached her final days. She totally enjoyed both the writing itself, and typing it into the computer, and tried to arrange her days so that she was not interrupted by visitors while doing this. It was often an intense experience for her, and her body pains would become more severe at times when she was writing about the traumatic experiences of her childhood. Samadhi intended her journal primarily for her friends, but she also had in mind a larger audience - in particular, people on a spiritual path, and people who have been touched one way or another by cancer. She had considered eventually submitting it to commercial publishers, but backed away from this when she found out about the ruthless editing that is often performed by such organisations. Above all, she wanted her own voice to be heard. Samadhi did not live to complete her journal. A number of chapters were not started, or are incomplete, and the material she did leave was never revised by her. Also, the order in which Samadhi intended sections or topics to be presented, is not always clear. In this edition of her journal, Samadhi's words remain close to how she wrote them. Obvious spelling mistakes and grammatical errors have been corrected, and a number of indecipherable words have been deduced (or guessed) from the context. In the final chapter, dates for the journal entries have often needed to be deduced from internal evidence, or by consulting with friends who were with her at the time. Significant editorial changes and additions are shown within the text in square brackets, [like this]. A number of people have read the manuscript, and provided useful comments and help. I would like to thank, in particular, Geetesha, who shared the editing and made many valuable suggestions, and Bodha and Amber for typing parts of the journal. This internet edition of the journal has been substantially revised and includes some new material and appendices. A print edition is also available. Comments are very welcome, as well as any first-hand information that friends may have of episodes and topics described here by Samadhi. Many of us have been deeply touched by being around Samadhi towards the end of her life. Throughout this journey she radiated love, and had the most pure heart connections with all who met her. This journal is yet another gift from Samadhi to us. Om shanti shanti shanti Keith (Sat) Schroeder
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